Misunderstood Love
by Miragaze
Summary: [Quall-Quiefer] Quistis is confused. She plays a role where in she can't understand even her own emotions. When Seifer returns to the Garden she gets pulled in deeper in this puzzle of love.
1. Introduction

**"Love can be divided for many but my heart will only belong to one. If given to two it will break apart and that broken heart's love will be of no more use."**

**[A/N A new story of mine... Expect many chapters I've been working on this plot for a while. I hope it's okay... Review and tell me if I should continue, k?]**

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**Chapter 1: Introduction**

Sighing like I had just battled a thousand sorceresses, I put down my book.

I needed company. Quistis Trepe did not want to spend all her days alone. I wanted to socialize as well. I may be an Ice Queen but I am no loner. Or at least I didn't want to be. Maybe I was and just didn't realize it.

Sitting up, I placed my book on the table next to my bed.

I stood up and searched my pockets for the clip I had placed in there earlier.

Finally finding it I tied my hair and tried to make myself look decent for him. I had already known who I wanted to find and talk to.

I guess it was because he was the one I always looked for and hung out with. That's what couples do.

Surprising? I don't blame you. It was for me. Very.

I was so accustomed to being independent. I was so used to walking along the halls of the Garden with no one next to me. Just Squall and Rinoa behind me, Selphie and Irvine on my left and sometimes even Zell and Michele, the library girl, on my right.

I really don't know how I ended up like this. With him. I certainly wasn't expecting it. It happened a while back, after the death of Ultimecia. How quick it seemed to be.

The battle for the world felt so fast but the battle to understand my emotions took forever. Until now, I am unsure of how I feel. Everyday, when I wake up I feel confused and my feelings are unclear and blurred. Unlike a dream or a hit I cannot just shake this off and stand up once more.

Was it supposed to end up this way? I may never know the answer. Why, why, why? Everyday I ask this question but it as well, remains unanswered. For now, I will just go wherever the emotions of the day will lead me.

Forever I am confused of how to feel, I know though that I love him. But it my love the kind we assume it is? Maybe and yet maybe not.

Emotions are confusing, they make people a whole lot more complicated but also a lot more interesting.

Maybe the world would be better without feelings or love, happiness, sorrow... you think? Probably not. It's so unlikely, so improbable. I don't think I could last a day without those feelings much less my life.

These days, I feel sorrow, happiness and anger... Sometimes all at once. To sum it all up, I am one **confused **girl.

I got out of my dorm and searched the halls for his comforting face. I passed by Selphie and Irvine, they were always together, Xu and a few Trepies.

I could tell they were Trepies by the way they stared and whispered as I passed by, not to mention the 'I Love Quistis' on one of their t-shirts. I've been seeing some of those on Trepies lately. I figure someone made them and that someone already selling them.

I kept looking until I heard familiar footsteps behind me and the sound of a gunblade clanging against his body.

"Hi, Quisty." He said. I could practically hear the smile in his voice. His voice was soothing and sweet to my ears. Already I felt happier just at hearing him say my name.

I turned around, a trace of a smile already on my lips. I gave him a quick kiss in greeting. Then, I stood there in front of him and smiled a true one, forgetting my problems and concepts on emotions for a moment at the least.

"Hello, Squall."


	2. Before And Today

**[A/N New chapter! Here, how Rinoa and Squall's relationship ended will be explained… I'm so cruel! How could I let the Squinoa couple end?????? Wah! I'm so awful 0o**

**Anyway… So, I hope you're pleased with this one. This isn't really a big part of the story except for the Rinoa-Squall thing. I just wanted to show what a normal day might be like and how things might've been going on after a few months.]**

**Chapter Two: Before and Today**

As I walked down the halls with Squall, his hand in mine, I tried to recall how it ended up this way. How did I end up with Squall next to me?

_"Squall, I can't stay here..." I heard her yell. I was in my dorm and they were in Rinoa's yet I could still hear them screaming at one another. Their voices overlapped, a fight begun._

_"Rinoa, how can you be so stubborn? How much do you expect from me? I've done everyth..." His voice had risen when he said her name. The rest had become muffled as I covered my ears with my pillow. _

_It was the middle of the night and they had been fighting since that afternoon. We had all tried to talk to them earlier but even if we banged on the door we could not compete with their loud yelling._

_None of us ever heard Squall yell before. He rarely showed emotion, anger was only shown with his battling and a frown or cold stare, but never had he used the strength of his voice._

_Finally, I heard a really loud sound even though I had covered my ears. Undoubtedly, I knew it was the door slamming shut._

_The next morning Rinoa had announced, without her usual smile, that she was going back to Timber. That news shocked us all. We all knew Rinoa loved staying at the Garden. Sure, she had her own worries about it and she was insecure about her new powers but she loved the Garden. She loved Squall... didn't she?_

_"What!?!?" was our reaction... except for Squall. He just looked away._

_We all tried to tell Rinoa not to leave but she said that nothing would change her mind. The whole time she explained she never once so much as glanced at Squall._

_She left the next day and Squall went back to his old attitude for a while. He kept his distance again and wouldn't speak about the incident with any of us. Hell, he didn't speak period._

_But in a few days time I finally pried the truth out of him and he said that Rinoa was afraid no one would really want her in the Garden as she was a sorceress. Squall tried to convince her that it wasn't true but was quickly frustrated by her stubborn attitude. He blew up and they had a big fight. I think we all knew that by the yelling._

_In the time I had been comforting Squall we grew closer. Who wouldn't, after spending so much time trying to get him to open up again? Four months later, which was today, we were an item. Two broken hearts were mended back and able to love again._

"Quistis!" I finally broke out of my daydreaming. I stared at Squall.

"The PA just called for me." He said and as if on cue, the PA sounded again.

"**Commander Leonhart please report to the Headmaster's Office. I repeat... Commander Leonhart please..."**

"I wonder what Cid wants from you." I thought aloud.

"I'll go find out. I'll see you later, Quisty?" He asked me.

"Sure. I'll go hang out with Selphie or someone." Before, if that had happened, I would've talked with Rinoa but she was gone.

"Okay." Our hands parted and he ran to the elevator, leaving all by my lonesome.

I went in search of Selphie and Irvine or possibly Xu, I knew that I probably wouldn't find her.

Zell had been hanging out at the Library a lot and we all knew it was because he liked Michele, the library girl. We all left him alone whenever he went there and he was there that day.

Selphie and Irvine were at the Quad. I found that out as I passed it and heard shrieks of laughter which I knew were from Selphie. Selphie has this certain laugh that you can always tell apart from the others.

Entering the Quad, I saw Selphie giggling madly as Irvine chased her on the stage. I smiled and decided to leave them alone for a while.

"Quistis!" Someone grabbed my shoulders quickly, taking me by surprise, and I shrieked. Then I heard uncontrollable giggling.

"Xu!" I yelled. "You scared me! Ooooh, Hyne..." I ruined my act by giggling as well.

Days like these, I forgot everything. Days like these were perfect and my problems were forgotten. On days like these, I had no trouble whatsoever confusing myself with my feelings. I knew I was happy.

"Sorry, Quis. Couldn't help myself that time." Xu said, regaining composure. We both climbed down the stairs.

"Hi, Quisty! Hi, Xu!" Selphie yelled. Irvine just waved with his hat in one hand. I guess they heard my shrieking. "Quisty, you sure scream loud!"

Xu started laughing again. I made a face at her. It wasn't often that I saw Xu being so active and cheerful.

Squall walked in right that second and saw Xu with my uncontrollable giggling, Selphie with her hands still in the air, waving to Xu and I, and me. I was still in the process of making a face at Xu.

His confused expression made us all laugh.

"What?" He demanded to know.

"It's not worth knowing." I told him reassuringly.

He shook his head. When he reached us he was smiling but his face told me something was bothering him. I can always tell when something's wrong because his eyes look more gray than blue. Whenever he was happy his eyes were the brightest. clearest blue I could ever imagine them to be.

Also, he was frowning slightly.

"What's wrong?" I asked immediately.

His face turned grim to match his eyes and he sat down on the stage.

"It's bad... I don't trust Cid's judgment on this. I wouldn't trust anyone on this. No way he changed." He shook his head.

"What?" Truly, I didn't understand anything that he said. His words did not make sense. Selphie and Irvine had recovered from their earlier stage of humiliation and were now listening our conversation.

"Cid just wanted to let me know, since I am commander, that..."

"What?!" Xu and I asked at the same time. Normally we would've laughed at that but Squall looked so serious that we couldn't.

Squall wouldn't look at us as he answered.

"Seifer's coming back to Balamb Garden."__


	3. Good Luck

**[A/N Phew!**** For some reason, it took me forever to type up this chapter. Don't ask why. I was away for awhile and I finished it when I got back. So this one is mainly about Quistis' conversation or argument with the Headmaster about Seifer returning! And… she also got pretty upset about something else. 0o Just read.]**

**Chapter 3: Good Luck**

"How could Cid allow that?" I asked no one in particular.

Xu was back, teaching her classes. Selphie and Irvine were already gone and it was just me and Squall at the Quad. I was sitting down on the stage, trying to calm myself down.

I thought about Seifer returning to the Garden. After all he did to us... They'd still take him back? Then again... Seifer wasn't too bad... Maybe he _had _changed. If that was actually possible for someone like him.

I didn't expect and answer to my question but Squall gave me one.

"He sees no reason not to allow him back since we all know now that Seifer really wasn't responsible for his actions. Matron also believes so. Technically, their right. There's no law that says we can reject his return. He was already a student once after all and that would make it even more unfair if we rejected him."

"It's still not right." I protested quietly. It _wasn't _right. But it wasn't wrong either. There was no reason to deprive Seifer of training and education. But still...

"I know." Squall agreed with me. "He shouldn't be allowed. It just wouldn't be safe. It's nothing against Seifer… well, maybe it is." He grinned. "A lot of the other Instructors

said that we shouldn't take him back but Cid would not listen to them. I think Matron convinced him."

I already had my license as an Instructor back and was worrying about something else.

"Hopefully, he won't be in any of my classes. Do you remember what he used to do?" I shook my head. "I don't want to lose my Instructor's license a second time."

"Don't worry. I'm sure you'll be fine, even if that..." He shook his head but said nothing. "...Seifer is in your class." He reassured me by taking my hand and squeezing it.

"I hope so." I wondered if it would really be _fine_. Did Seifer really change? Or was he still an arrogant lapdog? I think it was easier to believe the second one I thought of. But there was a really good chance that he had changed… after all… He _was_ one of us. And I felt guilty but couldn't help remembering what had happened on the night we defeated Ultimecia. He was so… different. Seifer was kind… and, maybe in a way sweet.

Squall sat down next to me. I rested my head on his shoulder. I felt guilty though, thinking about what had happened then on that night.

"You worry too much." Squall told me. I knew he was only half-serious.

"I got it from you." I said to him. "You're a bad influence." I laughed softly.

He smiled.

"When's he coming back?" I switched back to our original topic. I really was worrying too much about this. But I knew Squall was too, just not saying so.

"Today or tomorrow. Depends on him." Squall said.

"It would be at least interesting to see what happens… things haven't been very surprising lately." I wondered.

"Surprising? It would be a war, a never-ending battle."

"Well, at least things would be more exciting."

"I think boring would be better than blood-shed in this Garden. If that's your version of excitement."

I laughed.

"Maybe excitement is exactly the sort of thing we need to lessen here..." Squall said after a while and looked at me.

"Maybe." I shrugged and then smiled. "Just maybe."

"**Instructor Quistis Trepe please report to the Headmaster's Office. Instructor Quistis...**"

I sighed. It was late. I was already on my way to my room when the PA called me. I made my way to the elevator and rode up to the Headmaster's.

"Quistis." Ainna, the Headmaster's new secretary greeted me. "He's waiting for you inside."

"Thanks, Ainna." I told her and opened the door.

"Headmaster... why did you call for me?" I asked the figure inside.

"Ah, hello, Quistis." Cid smiled warmly. "Sit down, this may take awhile."

I took a seat on one of the chairs in the office and then glanced once more at the Headmaster.

"Well, I suppose I should get to the point now, shouldn't I?" Cid said. "I don't know if you'd be surprised by this news, I doubt not since you are very close to the commander…" _Squall? _"But Seifer is returning to Balamb Garden…" He looked at me in the eye to see my reaction. I can tell when Cid does this. He always likes knowing what I think of things. Me and everyone else. "I should've known that Squall told you. From the looks of you, you aren't exactly jumping for joy inside are you?"

"I guess not, sir." I told him.

"I might've guessed that you haven't completely forgotten everything that had happened because of Seifer…" He nodded. "Well, forgive him Quistis. In time you'll see that he was not responsible for his actions."  
I looked at him. "It's not usually hard to forgive…" I held the headmaster's gaze. "But it's hard to forget what has happened."

He nodded slowly. "I understand, Quistis. But you'd have to try to put that aside for now because Seifer is here."

As in: now? Hell, no…

"Here…? Sir…"

"Yes, Quistis. He's here now. He's probably somewhere in this Garden or in his room getting ready. I've instructed him to be here once his things have been properly placed."

"I think I understand, sir, but, I mean, what does all of this have to do with me?"

He smiled warmly once more. "Quistis, I've been meaning to tell you but I guess I got confused. Well, Seifer… will need, of course, an Instructor and I've decided that since none of the other Instructors have had any real experience with Seifer that you get the job."

I sat up in my chair and started shaking my head, disbelievingly. "Oh… no, no, no… No. You know I can't handle that."

"Quistis, you will have to." He told me gently. "Seifer will feel out of place and I believe you are the only one who is actually capable of managing him."

"Of course not." I stood up suddenly and shook my head quickly. "No, no… Xu and… and all the other Instructors are so much better at disciplining than me! I, I lost my Instructor's license because of my lack of control."

"Yes, I know all that. And that is also why I am assigning you this job." He looked so sure of himself. How could the headmaster believe I could do that?

"But…"

"Quistis, you can handle this. I know you can. I don't think Seifer needs just someone to discipline him but he needs someone to teach him. Teach him, listen to him, understand him, make him change and… to just plain help him. All the Instructors are very well-qualified and they know how to do their jobs…" He looked straight at me. "But you, Quistis, are the only one I know who can make real connections with the most impossible of students."

I laughed shakily.

"It's quite true." He smiled. "Why do you think that out of all the Instructors you have the admirers? The Trepies?"

"Oh, please… they don't really admire me. They just… they're not serious at all."  
Cid shook his head. "Quistis, you have to take this job. Quite frankly, I think you're the only one who's gotten through Seifer…" He looked at me completely serious. "He needs you."

_Silence_.

I was quieted. I was shocked. I was going insane. I slowly nodded my head, as almost an impulse. It's hard not to say 'yes' to hypnotic words like those.

What was I getting myself into?

"Hey, Headmaster… and Trepe?" An old familiar voice came into the room. The tones in it sounded in my head, a distant memory now clearing as the person behind me.

Seifer.

I was a loss for words. A mix of anger, feelings of betrayal and yet I remembered the words of the Headmaster just a moment ago, '_He needs you'._ Maybe so and maybe not. But this wasn't going to be easy.

"Hello, Seifer. It's about time you arrived." Cid said, as if Seifer was just an ordinary student come back from a vacation.

I simply nodded, still not trusting my capabilities to hold myself from screaming insults.

Seifer grinned obnoxiously. I had this feeling that he hadn't really changed.

"Take a seat now, Quistis and I were just discussing your lessons." Cid told Seifer. "You already know about the arrangements… we just need the Instructor over here to… agree to them." He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Sir… my… my license? And what exactly are the… the rules? And how exactly will I be in charge of Seifer?"

"Your license… well, you do have it back. You are allowed to teach. And if you are worrying about losing it… it's safe on this job." He tapped his chin with one hand and thought hard. "You will be Seifer's Instructor, plain as that. He will be attending few of your classes ones that we think he'll be able to understand. Other than that, you'll be tutoring him outside of classes if you or he feels like it is needed."

"…What if-"

"Yes, you should report to me about any… misunderstandings… or trouble." He turned to Seifer. "You do understand though, that you have been given a second chance and I urge you not to lose that. All of the staff will be watching you and any time we see something wrong they can urge me to withdraw that chance you were given. And I shall consider it very well." Again he turned to me. "Quistis, anything you feel you should report to me then do. I'd very much like to know about Seifer's progress. Note that you may get out of this job if I see that things get out of your control."

I nodded.

"That is all. Seifer… your schedule…" Cid handed him some papers and explained other things as I tried to figure out what had changed with Seifer.

He hadn't changed much. He wore the same outfit, same gunblade, same everything.

He glanced at me and I looked back steadily.

"You may go now. Good luck to both of you." Cid said with a smile.

_"I hate it when people wish me luck, Instructor. Save it for someone who needs it." _Those words came back to me, Seifer's words from the SeeD exam.

I shook my head. I think I'll take the good luck. I may need it.


	4. Already Missing You

**[A/N Wow!**** This chapter isn't too long but it took me forever! The last part is about before when they were in the orphanage… that's what Quistis dreamt about that night. =) I have already half of the next chapter so it shouldn't take me too long to have it done. Also, those readers who like the Quistis X Squall pairing, just a warning, I, myself, like Quistis X Seifer pairing more so this fanfic is very likely to end that way. And you guys will be hearing more about Rinoa later on! Like I said, it's probably going to end as a Quiefer.]**

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**Chapter 4: Already Missing You**

"I guess you're stuck with me now, Trepe."

Those were Seifer's words accompanied by the door of Cid's office closing… or slamming.

Angrily, I stomped out to the elevator as Ainna, the secretary waved meekly to us. Yes, I said 'us'. I was supposed to bring Seifer to his room. He knew the way. He was a student before. He didn't deserve the nice treatment. Slowly though, I calmed down.

"We've gotten touchy, haven't we Trepe?" Seifer said in a mocking voice. "Or shall I say, Instructor?"

Until then, I had stayed silent, hoping that if I stayed quiet he would too… But apparently, I had overestimated his abilities.

"Seifer…" I began as coldly as I could, "…as long as you are my student," Hyne, I prayed that wouldn't be long. "I suggest you act as I tell you to. I do have power over you and I can get you out of this Garden. So now, I say show some respect or just shut the hell up."

At first, he was a loss for words but he covered it up with a smirk and then said sarcastically, "Oh, Instructor can't take it anymore, can she? I think I can tell when you're getting desperate. Don't worry… I'll behave so you can keep your beloved license."

I ignored him and just focused on walking as quickly as I could.

Finally we reached his room, Room #189. Unfortunately, we were delayed by two trepies (Seifer had smirked and laughed when they left) and Xu.

Again, another delay. Seifer left his key with Ainna. We had to go back upstairs and down. For a while, I thought he had done it on purpose… another way to frustrate the Instructor.

On the way back down, we spotted yet again those two trepies. And they just had to ask me once more on the lessons we were going to take in class tomorrow.

When Seifer was finally inside his room, I checked the clock. It had only been around twenty minutes. I sighed inwardly.

"Okay, Seifer… Tomorrow you will have your lessons. Kindly check your schedule and see in which of my classes you will be in." I requested.

"Do I have to?" He said in a childish tone. It wouldn't have gotten me mad at all if I wasn't in such a hurry to get out of there and into my bed.

"Almasy, just get the damn schedule."

"Well… since you asked _so_ nicely…" He told me sarcastically then he started to look through the papers Cid had given him.

It took him forever to find it and then he handed it to me and I checked out the schedule for the next day.

**_12:30_****_- History (Instructor Quistis Trepe/Classroom 2H)_**

**_2:00_****_- Guardian Forces (Instructor Quistis Trepe/Classroom 2H)_**

**_3:30_****_- Advanced _****_Battle_****_ Skills (Instructor Quistis Trepe/Classroom 2D)_**

**_4:30_****_- Magic and Junctions (Instructor Quistis Trepe/Classroom 2D)_**

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"You have the afternoon classes." As if he was listening. "Don't be late. Also, at 5:30, when your last class ends you'll have to stay in the classroom and so will I. We'll have our discussion then."

Seifer smirked once more. I don't understand why he always does that. I narrowed my eyes.

"And don't cause any trouble in class. Remember, I'll be watching closely and any sign of trouble I will report to Cid."

"Of course, Instructor. I'm sure I won't be any trouble." He grumbled. "Like I'm sure they'll all _want_ me there." He added under his breath but I heard him. For a moment, I looked at him and saw something more than imaginary devil horns on his head.

"Don't be late then. I'll see you tomorrow." My tone was a bit gentler and he didn't reply.

I closed the door behind me and then I let out a breath.

I walked to my room. It was a bit far since he's a non-SeeD and I'm an Instructor… But I made it… almost. There was one more interruption. This time, a wanted one.

"Hi, Squall." I smiled at him.

Squall was standing a few feet away from my room. He turned around and waved. "I was looking for you. Where were you?"

"Cid's office… here… Cid's office… escorting Seifer…" I sighed.

"Seifer?"

"Yes, he's here already. And now, I'm his Instructor. No need for the applause." I muttered.

"Why are…-"

He didn't have to ask. I already knew what he wanted to know. "Cid assigned me the job of being his Instructor since no one else can 'handle' the job. I'd like to know why he thinks they can't and I can, seeing that I'm the one who lost her license already once before."

Squall looked troubled for a moment then put on a smile which looked forced to me. "I'm sure you can do it if anyone can, Quisty."

I didn't say anything more. No need to spread the news about the private lessons just then.

"Why were you looking for me before?" I asked Squall.

"Oh, well… it's nothing… It might be hard to get someone to replace me but if you want me here…"

I looked at Squall, completely confused. "What? You aren't making any sense…-"

"Oh." He began to talk again. "See there's this long-term mission happening in maybe a week's time and the Garden Council requested that I participate and supervise. We're going to be searching and guarding different towns for signs of Galbadia. There have been threats and word is that Galbadia is up to something again… And I was going to accept but I thought that I should ask you if you're okay with being alone for maybe… a few weeks? But then you told me about Seif-"

"No… No!" I smiled, or I kind of plastered one on my face. "Go. I'll be totally fine. I'm independent. I can handle some time without you."

Squall still looked hesitant so I added, "I can take care of things on my own. Besides, I'm _only_ being Seifer's Instructor… No big deal. I promise. And Selphie, Irvine, Zell and Xu will be here…And since when did decide to start acting like a father?" I joked.

He gave a small laugh. "Fine. I know I can handle everything there and you can handle everything here… You'll be fine. I won't go crazy."

"Really?" I pushed.

"Nope…" He grinned. "Definitely not. But if that's what you want…"

I laughed. "I'm already missing you. But you'll be fine and so will I. It's only a few weeks. You deserve this! You _are_ the commander after all."

He didn't say anything.

"Then it's decided. You'll go and I'll stay." I told him.

"Quisty…" He complained.

I shook my head and kissed him.

"That's that. Now go! I need some rest." I smiled.

He shook his head but then smiled as well. "'Night, Quisty…" He whispered.

Squall left and I opened the door to my room. I disappeared as well but before that I noticed a dark figure disappearing into his room. Room #189. **__**

**_Dream-Flashback_**__

_I put my hand to the window and shivered. It was cold. It was drizzling outside. The rain just didn't stop. It didn't stop… I became frustrated with it and frowned._

_I turned around and saw Squall sitting down in a corner of the room._

_I moved to him slowly. "Squall…?"_

_He didn't say anything. Didn't even look up._

_He still missed Ellone. She had left only a week before._

_"Are you okay, Squall…?" I asked as I sat down next to him and looked into his poor face. I felt extreme sympathy for him._

_He still didn't say anything. He wouldn't look at me. I hoped I wasn't making him feel worse._

_"I know Ellone, isn't here, Squall… But I will be." I said finally as a last attempt. "I'll be here for you."  
I stood up and walked away. I had only taken a few steps when I heard someone whimper behind me._

_"Quisty…?"_

_"Yeah, Squall?" I turned around and this time saw him looking straight into my eyes._

_"Sis' used to protect me… But… she isn't here now, is she?" He looked so frightened. I hated to say no._

_I shook my head._

_Still, he held my gaze. "Quisty…?"  
"Yes, Squall?"  
"I used to be afraid when there were storms like this… It's loud and dark…" He looked outside. "Ellone used to be with me on days like now… She held my hand…" He whispered. "But she isn't here anymore, huh?"  
I took a few steps forward and sat down once more next to him. "No…" I whispered. "But I'm here for you, Squall." I took his hand gently._

_He looked down. Then after a moment he said, "Thank yoo, Quisty… Yoo'll be there to help me next time when Sis' is still gone, right?"_

_Squall needed so much reassurance. He needed me to confirm everything. Right then, he was just a scared, insecure boy._

_"Yes… I'll always be there to save you…"_


	5. Happiness And Regret

**[I AM SO SLOW! Sorry people! School has taken a lot of my time and before you know it my fan fiction time has lowered greatly. I know it isn't too long but… Review anyway, okay? Hopefully I'd be able to write faster next time.]**

**Chapter 5: Happiness and Regret******

The next morning I had tried to wake up late and sleep the whole misery concept off, but no… Why do Instructors have alarm clocks in their rooms? They can wake up fine themselves.

In any case, I had not started the day jumping with joy and shouting happy quotes. I woke up at 6:00 am, not far from the time I usually wake up. I'm not really a morning person but being a SeeD and Instructor, I'm required to be.

That was the reason I had arrived at the cafeteria early and not completely conscious.

"Hey, Quistis!" Zell had spotted me in my own table reading a book, "Chicken Soup for the Instructor's Soul III".

"Zell…? What are you doing here at this time of day? It's barely time for breakfast." I told him as he sat down, carrying his platter of hotdogs. It looked like a balancing act.

"Exactly why I am here now, Quistis. I would've expected you, the living Garden Genius, to understand my concepts on cafeteria life."

"If you would enlighten me with your ways, Dincht…"

"Glad to." Zell grinned. "See here, it's only what…? 8:00? Look around how many people do you see?"

"I count around six, including you and I."

"Aha! Exactly my point. By the time 10:00 comes, this place will be full of students and the hotdogs will be wanted and gone. But if you come at the time I do…" He winked. "There is less competition for the hotdogs and I will be satisfied by the time breakfast comes… Lunch however…"  
I laughed. "I guess I can understand what you mean, Zell."

"Of course… My plan is infallible as always." He bit into his food. "So why are you here, if you don't want the food?"

"I just needed a nice moping spot to read."

"Ah, yes, the tragedy of the Classes From Hell."

I was a little surprised then. "You know about Seifer?"

"But of course… No one can hide the truth from Zell Dincht…" He grinned mischievously. "Besides… Ainna told Zack who told Kimberly who told Danielle who told Jason who told Michelle who told me."

"I never knew you were a fan of gossip." I smiled faintly.

"Don't call it gossip… Call it: confidentially passed information."

"Very nicely put." I told him.

"Thank you. Now, I shall go for more nutrition."

"Hotdogs?"

"What else?"

I laughed. "Typical. Go get your food, Zell."

He left and I returned to my book. Only two seconds had passed and yet I had to stop reading once again.

"Quisty! Where have you been? I have got to tell you, I can't tell you… I ran all the way… and Irvine but…" That was Selphie. She was apparently breathless and Irvine was being tugged after her. She reached the table I was sitting at and gasped for air.

"Selphie." I shook my head. "You're not making any sense."

"Me… Irvine… Quad… I was… for garden festival… red box… Irvine… Me… quad… this morning…"

"Selphie… Please speak in complete sentences." I said as patiently as I could.

She gasped for air again and screamed. I stared.

"We're getting married!" Irvine finally burst out.

I stared at them again, this time in shock.

Selphie shrieked and put her hand in front of mine, as if for confirmation, on her finger was a diamond engagement ring.

This time, I was the one who gasped. "Wow." I knew about how Irvine and Selphie felt about each other but this was a big step.

"Oh, my… Hyne. Congratulations!" I said to Selphie. I almost squealed but then stopped myself in time. "I can't believe this! But it's a good thing, I mean, I'm so happy for you but… Oh, my… I still can't believe it! Not literally but maybe but what I mean is…" I couldn't stop blabbering. I couldn't shut my mouth. I was bursting with excitement.

"Quistis." Irvine interrupted with a grin. "You could've stopped at congratulations."

"Right…" I took a deep breath. "Right." I smiled. "But really, I am so happy for you two."

"Thanks, Quisty!" Selphie squealed. This time, I couldn't contain myself. I squealed with her.

The look on Selphie's face told me a few things, one: She was very happy and content. Second, it made me wonder if I was ever going to get close to having that look. This sudden realization best not be known to the others. It may ruin their little celebration.

I smiled again and excused myself. "Congratulations again, Selphie! You too, Irvine… I want to hear the story later okay? I have to get to class…"

"Okay… thanks, Quisty. Good luck with your class!" Selphie said to me.

"I've heard that 'good luck' thing many times already." I laughed. "Let's hope it works!

When I reached the classroom, a few feet away, waiting for me, was Seifer. Yes, Seifer. Hell, would I know why?

"Morning, Instructor." He greeted me. "Since you can't lecture me on being early, what's it going to be about today?"

"Let's hope it's not about attacking fellow students…" I suggested.

_"…let's rule out: helping evil sorceresses_." I added under my breath.

"So I understand that since I left Squall has really taken to you, Instructor." He began.

Why did he have to bring that up?

"What does this have to do with our lessons?"

"Absolutely nothing… and that's exactly the point."

"If you must know yes, Rinoa left after an argument, she left, I'm Squall's new girlfriend, joy for the world! That's all you want to know isn't it?" I asked sarcastically.

I turned around quickly, glad the other students didn't hear me.

The reason I turned around was for the strange look I saw on Seifer's face. It was mischief or arrogance or ignorance or anything which suited the reply I gave him.

I'm not even sure what it was… But I think it was regret.


	6. Sudden Tears

**[A/N Sorry… School is just so… time-consuming, you know? It's taken up like, half of my personal time. Anyway, here's another chapter. A very short one but at least I updated, right? Sorry again.]**

**Chapter 6: Sudden Tears**

I brushed off that thought. Why would Seifer...?

I pushed it aside and tried to concentrate on our lessons. It was going to be a tiring day, I could already tell.

"I assume you have brought all of your needed materials." I said.

"Like what, Quistis?" He asked. I couldn't tell if he was serious or just making a fool out of me.

"Must I remind you once more that I am your _Instructor_?"

"My mistake, Instructor Trepe." He said teasingly.

I shook my head in exasperation. "Never mind, Seifer... Just forget it." I turned towards the class with a plastered smile on my disgusted face. The result was gruesome. "Alright class, take your seats. Now we have a new student... He isn't a _new_student exactly so I suppose most of you know Seifer Almasy."

**.......................................................................................................**

****

"...Hmmm..." I nodded. "Correct. Now, Alaine, make sure to tell Dr. Kadowaki that it wasn't a magic spell but a weaponry attack..."

"Yes, Instructor." Alaine nodded briskly as she and her friends helped Samuel make it to the Infirmary.

I rubbed my forehead, a habit I got from Squall, and sat down on my desk. I could see lightly the silhouette of Seifer, walking towards me.

"Sit down, Seifer." I said tiredly.

He sat down with no expression, without saying a word. His face showed no sign of remorse though.

"Seifer..." I began testily. "We had a talk about this. You could get expelled. In all honestly, it would be nice to have my normal, risk-free class again but I for one will not sit and watch you throw your education and life out the window just like that." My voice showed extreme tension and it hung in the air as well.

"Why..." I continued. "Why, I ask, did you attack Samuel? Do you want to be expelled? Do you want to leave the Garden? Why the hell did you come back then? So you could just bother all of us on your ride down to nowhere? I am telling you, tolerance is not a gift I had received."

He looked up at me with a bland expression. "He started everything. You may not have the gift of tolerance. Neither do I. He was being an ass. He got what he deserved."  
"Seifer, we do not attack classmates just because we know we are well-trained." I said not bothering to hide the impatience so clearly shown in my tone of voice. "This is only your first day. I can only hope you shall do better in your next few days or else the impression I shall get from you is that you have not changed, that you are still dangerous and that you do not deserve to be taught in this Garden." I ended curtly. Hell, I even scare myself at times... My frustration was going too far. My voice though remained steady and I had the upper hand in this argument. Though I knew he would not regret having done what he had done.

"Fine." He said shortly. His facial expression had changed. Not as bland, not as blank... he showed some feeling. I don't know what and I don't know why. But my tone had become gentler... gentler but still firm and angry.

"You have to pay for this and you shall... greatly. Be glad your fellow classmate was not too badly hurt. We all trusted you to understand the chance you are being given here..." My voice was getting louder. "Edea changed. Why couldn't you? Why can't you see how much we tried to accept you and how difficult it is... to have you in this Garden. Do us a favor and save us from this hell we are encountering... Life isn't all that easy!" I yelled suddenly, my voice shaking. "Don't you think it's hard enough for me? Don't you think it's easy to live a life like I do? In constant uncertainty and fear and confusion? Its hell and what your doing isn't making my life any easier... It isn't making anyone's life any easier..." My voice shook dangerously. Tears threatened to flood my eyes but I held them back with great effort. My vision blurred, Seifer looked at me with concern. A tear fell to the desk.

What was happening to me? I was falling apart.

I shook my head and took of my glasses, rubbing my eyes and gently brushing the tears away. "You may leave now, Seifer. There's no reason for us to talk."

He stood up slowly, with uncertainty. "Good-bye, Quis- I mean, Instructor." He said quietly.

He left.

I stayed.

I sat there, just letting the tears fall freely without restraint for once in my life. I experienced the freedom in not wiping the tears away and hating myself for crying... For once, I did not run away and wash my face before anyone saw me as this crying woman... I wanted everyone to think I was made of stone. Cold-hearted Quistis. And so they did... and the consequences coming with it were great.

I let the salty teardrops form a small puddle on my desk as I pondered my nagging fears. I hated it. I was disgusted by my life. I laid my head down on my arms, trying to stop my crying plea for help.


End file.
